The Honor of Your Presence is Requested
by Kaliani

When I embarked on my spiritual journey in 2004, I could never have imagined where it would take me and how much I would grow. I had spent most of my life to that point being repressed, depressed, compressed and under pressure. Does it sound like something was weighing me down? It was my own egoic self telling me a story. A complex, layered, multi-dimensional story of my own weaving. It was a good story, quite believable, rational, logical and conformist. I fit in well in the world around me. I was a successful paralegal, I was married, had a wonderful son, the house, the financial security, etc. But as I built my personality around the roles I played, I lost my awareness of self. I lived according to other’s expectations, wishes, desires and whims. It became a dizzying array of sometimes conflicting agendas. I wondered how I could fulfill everyone else’s expectations simultaneously, even when those expectations were at odds with each other or in conflict with one another? It took a lot of energy to keep the house of cards from blowing over.

I decided that year to give myself a birthday present. I had been exhausted by all the processing of other people’s emotions since most of the people in my world were gripped with fear and I was a very good at holding space and being empathic, though I didn’t have words for it at the time. So, when my meditation teacher, who was also a Reiki Master, set up a class on Reiki, I decided to attend. I almost backed out of the class when I learned that I was the only student to sign up, and I didn’t esteem myself enough to understand that the instructor would not feel like I was “wasting his time,” but I went. The date of the “sealing in” attunement was my birthday (read “re-birth”-day), April 4. It was 04/04/04, a once-in-a-hundred-years’ occurrence of dates. As a result of the attunement, my low back pain that had been excruciating and persistent for several years, was instantly relieved and continued to heal with subsequent self-treatment; I felt an amazing warmth and tingling flowing through the palms of my hands; and I went from being an agnostic skeptic to KNOWING that God existed and that this energy flowing through me was the light and vibration of the Divine.

Within a couple of weeks, serendipity and synchronicity led me to sign up to become a hospice volunteer. The training program was offering training in Reiki as an alternative therapy to use with the patients. Working with hospice keeps me real. Hospice patients, their families and caregivers are all doing graduate work in the Earth School of Life. It’s intense processing, with 24 hour homework, no breaks and a final exam that’s to die for. In hospice work you learn that the final exam is all about letting go. In the end we’re all going to have to leave this dimension through a very narrow doorway and we’ll have to leave all of our possessions, family, friends, home and body behind—it makes you start thinking about what is important, if all that is to be left by the wayside, all that stuff that we worked so hard to acquire and maintain. All that we get to keep when we exit through that narrow doorway is our love. Love is the only ‘keeper.’

Through this transformative work and staying real on a weekly basis, dealing with death in the forefront of conscious thought, I began to see other paths to divine opening, to consciously building my capacity to love and be loved. That meant leaving the ‘story’ behind, rebuilding my self-esteem, and learning to put my needs, wants, desires and agenda first. I went from hospice training to awakening workshops where I learned more about the construct of the story of the ego, to becoming a Lay Chaplain through hospice, to conjoining my yoga teaching with energy work though Kundalini yoga teacher training, to completing the Reiki training through 3rd level and beginning to teach it. I found a group of amazing women training to become priestesses and reawaken our knowledge of the Feminine Divine and it’s importance in balanced healing, and I joined them, going on to be initiated as a Priestess last fall, and then as a Tantric Priestess this past spring. I learned that what I am at my core is a mystic, someone who lives their life as a constant prayer, in harmony with the flow of life force energy in its balanced feminine and masculine manifestations. I began to explore working with the subconscious through therapy, ritual, ceremony and hypnotherapy, going on to receive certification in hypnotherapy and past-life regression. That opened another avenue, of shamanic work, as I joined an apprenticeship program with the Yraceburus, working with ancient Quero Apache and Romani gypsy healing modalities.

All of this training; however, is icing on the cake. How I work with healing energy and what I do, I’ve always done. The rest is validation and confirmation. Within each of us, at the core of our Highest Self, is a gift, a talent, an infinite resource, a unique vibration. That vibration is your personal sound or song—and it is a crucial component of the Whole. My purpose is to bring you tools that can help you get back in touch with your own personal vibration—no matter which vibrational therapy is used—the frequency of Reiki, the movement of yoga or dance, the internal vibration of chanting and toning, the deep silence of meditation, the balance that comes from connecting the subconscious mind with the conscious, the emanation of prayer. It all comes from the same internal flame of your soul, the personal guru inside (she who brings the light to the darkness). It is all a sharing of your love and the unique individualization of Spirit that you are. My gift is being a channel for light and love; a presence in which the space is held for whatever you need to process.

With hospice patients, sometimes my job is to channel Reiki energy for a healing on some level—although this is not always a physical healing; sometimes I’m there to listen in an open, non-judgmental, non-fearful way. Sometimes I’m a presence for the family or the caregivers. Sometimes it’s giving someone a hug with complete compassion for what they’re experiencing. Once I arrived at a nursing home as someone was about to make their transition. The TV was blaring with some inane game show and there was noise all around. I came in, turned off the TV, set up a CD player with meditative music, and closed the door. I began channeling Reiki and calling in this soul’s guides and angels. Within 20 minutes of walking in the door, this soul transitioned, and I smiled, knowing that I had brought the presence of peace to the moment, just by being willing to show up and let love flow through me.

If you are reading this, you’ve been issued an invitation from Spirit. It reads, “The Honor of Your Presence is Requested.” Your Presence. Your personal unique vibration radiates out into the world. Presence is more than just showing up, although that is a big part of it. Presence is being there for another person in a time of need. It is holding the space for whatever that soul needs in the moment. It is active listening, where your ego gets out of the way so that you can communicate on the soul level. It is providing the space of trust and complete acceptance of who you are right now. It is allowing your divine self to be present, so that your love can flow. It allowing your love to expand, radiate, and become one with the very essence of all creation. Presence is revealed as you heal yourself. It is my job to encourage you and to give you the tools you need to heal. As you heal, you emanate your love, and your life changes. You embody and radiate the love that you are at the core of your soul, for you know that you are an integral part of the Song of the Divine. Namaste (the light in me acknowledges the light in you) and Sat Nam (that is the essence of truth).

Kaliani is available for private Reiki sessions and hypnotherapy and past-life regression by appointment. She teaches Reiki on a rotating basis, with new classes forming quarterly. She is in the process of establishing a Reiki healing circle where new practitioners may practice. She leads a support group for spiritual awakening called “Metamorphosis” that meets at a private residence in San Diego. Kaliani is a hospice volunteer through The Elizabeth Hospice and a Reiki Corps member bringing Reiki treatments to cancer patients at Sharp Memorial Hospital. For information on her classes and workshops, please visit her new web site at www.kalianidivine.com, email her at kalianidivine@yahoo.com, or call 858/354-3479.